Written by: Chris Bateman

Here are 10 seriously expensive Toronto homes millionaires are probably browsing right now.

14 Bridle Path

14 The Bridle Path – $14.6 million
This “opulent gated palatial estate” in the Bridle Path neighbourhood screams “I’ve got loads of money” in your face, over and over again. There are three kitchens (one for cooking, one for entertaining, err…) a separate “in-law” suite with two bedrooms and bathrooms, a movie theatre, ballroom, and everything else one would expect from a house listing that sounds like a description of the Clue game board.

263 Warren Road

263 Warren Rd. – $15.6 million
Wood paneled walls, marble floors, and a limestone exterior. This home looks old, but it was built within the last five years to include a massage room, yoga room, home theatre, outdoor heated hot tub, and library. Even the front door is absurdly expensive: it’s got mahogany framed glass and a decorative iron and 24 carat gilded grill, which will be useful for reminding guests and the mailman how poor they are.

118 Yorkville

#703, 118 Yorkville Ave. – $15.9 million
This Hazelton Hotel unit is adorned with an astonishing amount of shiny borbles: custom marble, cherry wood fittings, 24 carat gold and Swarovski crystals. There’s even a wine room and a private elevator so one doesn’t have to mix with the proles staying in the hotel a few floors below. The taxes and fees on this four bedroom, five bathroom apartment ($65.5K a year, plus utilities) are enough to make normal Toronto renters gasp.

28 Valleyanna

28 Valleyanna Dr. – $16.8 million
If, like me, you often have trouble seating 30 friends on movie night, then this gigantic brick bungalow is for you. The property includes a 32-person private theatre, a terrace, games room with built-in wet bar, and an indoor swimming pool. There are five bedrooms and nine bathrooms. Perfect for a large family that needs the washroom a lot.

46 Park Lane

46 Park Lane Circle – $16.9 million
This Bridle Path castle includes heated marble floors, a heated driveway, a nanny apartment, butler facilities, a recreation room, spa, gym, and loads of other things only a select few could ever afford to expect from their own home. Six bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, and a whole lot of privacy. Plenty of cameras to detect intruders.

26 Old Forest Hill

26 Old Forest Hill Rd. – $18 million
For the price of a school or a hospital wing, the discerning home buyer can buy this Forest Hill property with an 18th century stone floor, a formal entertaining dining room, lap pool, wine cellar, and a self-contained staff quarters. Six bathrooms, five bedrooms (one of which is a “grand master”) and parking for eight. Lots of wood beams and a fully-furnished gazebo.

118 Yorkville

118 Yorkville Ave. – $18.9 million
The penthouse apartment at the Hazelton Hotel is on the market at a shade under $19 million. For that, the lucky buyer gets panoramic views of the city, three bedrooms, six bathrooms, and the privilege of living in a hotel (24-hour room service is available.) The 19th floor unit has has 540 square metres of terrace space and five fireplaces. Must be cold up there.

35 High Point

35 High Point Rd. – $19.8 million
You know you’re astronomically rich if you’re able to buy a home with a fully-equipped service kitchen (the listing calls it a “butler’s pantry”) and restaurant-style dining room. Seriously, some of the rooms at 36 High Point Rd. wouldn’t look out of place behind a red velvet rope at a museum. There are a lot of chairs that don’t look like they’re for sitting in. Total seven beds and 11 bathrooms.

68 bridle path

68 The Bridle Path – $25 million
This absurd palace is more like a hotel than a private home. The sprawling back patio and pool room have seat more than 20, and the garage has space for–wait for it–40 vehicles. Sounds like there’s going to be a line up at every one of this house’s 14 bathrooms on party night. The four-acre grounds are so large a golf cart is included in the cost of the home.

10 High Point

10 High Point Rd. – $28.8 million
For a little over $28 million, 10 High Point Rd. in the Bridle Path comes with 10 bedrooms, 15 bathrooms, and space in the attached garage for 12 vehicles, which is good, because the new owners will have to drive absolutely everywhere (the nearest grocery store is a four-kilometre round trip away.) There’s even a ballroom with room for 100 guests. Total floor space is around 2,230 square metres over two floors. This house is completely and utterly insane.